Moving? Ten Steps To Create A New Social Circle In 2 Weeks

I’m moving in two weeks to Osaka, Japan — a city I’ve spent a grand total of two nights in my whole life. I have no apartment lined up and my previous connections in Osaka have all relocated. Am I worried? Nope. How am I going to make friends? No problem. I have confidence that I’ll be more than fine. This is my fourth time relocating, and I’ve created great social circles in less than a month that revolve around me and people I enjoy being around. Having done this a few times, I’ve noticed there are certain patterns that I follow to successfully create a large, high quality social circle in just two weeks. Here are my 10 steps to creating and being the center of a fantastic new social circle:

1. Make connections before you move. Depending on your situation, this could differ in degree of difficulty. If you have a job already, ask for the email addresses of future colleagues before you go and email a quick hello and introduction. If you’re moving internationally, ask if they want anything brought from “home” or wherever you’re moving from. When I moved to Ho Chi Minh City to work as a PR Manager, already having a connection through email with my future colleagues was a huge help, especially since I brought them some Canadian comfort food: Maple Syrup. They introduced me to their respective social circles and I met fifteen great new people my second night in town.

2. Social Networking via the World Wide Web. If you don’t have the luxury of knowing anybody before your move, go online. This move to Osaka, since I don’t know anyone, I’m using a special interest forum to meet other foreigners in Japan and spending a few low-cost nights on a futon courtesy of people I met on www.couchsurfing.com – I’m also screening the “couch owners” profiles to see if they might fit into my new social circle. I’ve also heard of friends having great success with using ICQ chat groups, Facebook, and MSN. Throw your spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks.

3. Buy a cell phone the minute you land. This will make things infinitely easier. If you follow my advice, you’ll be meeting a ton of people your first week in your new city, so don’t miss the opportunity to collect and exchange phone numbers. Don’t rely just on email or Facebook to network. Think about it, how many times have you emailed someone to go grab a coffee when you had a free hour? Never. Facebook and the like might work for the big events, but for the day-to-day contact, a cell phone is a must.

4. Accept every invitation. When you just arrive in a new city and you’re staying in a hotel, still jetlagged, it can be easy to say, “I’m tired, give me a call next time…” to an invite to a party/networking event. If it’s work related or a designated “networking event,” you’re definitely missing out – the easiest way to start and keep conversation is when you first arrive and don’t know anything. People will want to answer your questions and show you around, the poor little lost puppy that you are.

5. Get phone numbers and email addresses of people you could see yourself being friends with. Obvious, right? Then, start a list that you can send bulk invitations and such to – most phones can do this easily. Do not add people to your list that you didn’t get along with or wouldn’t want to hang out with, just leave them as entries in your phone book.

6. Look for a few solid guy friends before starting to date. Why? Because when you move to a new city, before you get “set up” with a social network, you’re vulnerable and needy. This makes it easy to get stuck in an unfulfilling relationship with someone you don’t like. I’ve seen it happen a million times before: high quality man moves to new city; man doesn’t know how to meet a new circle of friends because he’s never had to before; man meets woman who he wouldn’t normally date, but needs some sort of connection and so can’t refuse her advances; man spends all of his time with her and avoids the potentially painful act of looking for new friends; man and woman date and are needy, yet ultimately unhappy, together for some time. Don’t let this happen to you. No dating until you’re happy with your friends.

7. Join a group/activity that you’re interested in, the week you arrive. If you’re a writer, join the aspiring writer’s group in that city. If you like yoga, join or sit in on a class (which is, on a side note, an excellent target rich environment – meaning there’s on average about six to ten beautiful women to every man). This will let you meet friends with similar interests and keep you in your element (where your interests are).

8. Create a Must Be There Event. Pick up the local Weekly Entertainment Guide and scan it for good events. You want to be the guy that knows every worthwhile event/drink special/CD release party in the city. Look for a club opening with great drink specials or maybe a hip underground band that’s playing a hip coffee house – whatever you and your new friends are into. It could even be a night out at the bowling alley, a scrabble tournament at a coffee house, or a poker game at your new apartment. Make it something you would want to go to if you heard about it.

9. Text your invites. Okay, so from reading the local weekly, you know that there’s a great $3 martini special at a cool, fun lounge on Monday night, what do you do with the info? Take your phone list from step 5 and sell the event. Bulk texting, people. (note: Facebook and other social networking tools are also great for larger-scale events) Make sure you have a few people already confirmed to go before you send your texts (by asking around), and say in your message that it’s going to be a wicked night out. That if they miss it, they’ll regret it forever. Exaggerate. Entice people to go. If you’ve only got a few numbers collected, recruit the help of the people who said yes, and have them forward your message to their lists. Make sure you mention that they should RSVP so you can reserve seats – even if it’s not necessary at the venue, you want to be able to know approximately how many people are coming before the event. At the event, take all kinds of pictures and put them online for people to laugh at, then text the web address to everyone. It should also be noted: the better your first “event,” the more buzz there will be and the more people will show up the next time you text. So try to make your first one fun.

10. Repeat steps eight and nine. Be the event guy at least once a week, all the while meeting new people and collecting numbers for your list. Revel in the fact that your text message is the one everyone waits for on Friday afternoons.

There you go. Enjoy your new social life.

Oh, and if you have tips that have worked for you, please share them with our readers in the Comments below.

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